Tuesday, August 11, 2009

The Semester of Living Biblically


I just finished reading The Unlikely Disciple: A Sinner’s Semester at America’s Holiest University, an interesting look at Liberty University, the country’s largest evangelical college, located in Lynchburg, Virginia. Liberty’s the school founded by Jerry Falwell, he who famously denounced the purple Tellytubby Tinky-Winky as a raging homo and blamed the September 11 terror attacks on feminists, abortionists and, naturally, gays. Kevin Roose, a charming writer who’ll graduate this December from Brown University, decided to take a semester off from Brown and study “abroad,” enrolling at Liberty, committed to understanding how the rather large evangelical community in our country lives and works.

While there, Roose experienced a lot of what you would expect from a religious university filled with conservative students – the “fag” jokes were out of control (a point that Roose emphasized repeatedly, mentioning homophobia in nearly every chapter), a half inch of too much cleavage made a girl an immoral slut, and “I’ll pray for (insert cause or person here)” was tossed around like “good morning.” Roose also experienced some of the more startling elements of Liberty: he attended sessions of Every Man’s Battle, a self-help group for chronic masturbators; he listened to Falwell poo-poo global warming, debunking it as a myth; he took “History of Life” classes, where he learned that evolution is a media conspiracy and the Bible has the correct answer on every issue in the world; and he attended a trip where he and his peers witnessed to horny, drunk Spring Breakers, trying to show them that they too can be saved. He even survived The Liberty Way, the rulebook at the university, which bans R-rated movies, hugs that last longer than three seconds, kissing and cursing.

And despite all of these ultra-conservative aspects to Liberty, Roose reflected, in the end, that it really wasn’t all that bad. The Liberty Way provided him with structure, ensuring that he completed his studies without getting distracted by alcohol, parties or other things standard in secular higher education. He truly enjoyed daily prayer and, perhaps more so, the way it felt to know that someone was keeping him in their prayers. He even saw benefits in the lack of physical contact with girls – because he knew that hand-holding was as far as he could get with a girl on any given date, he found himself genuinely interested in her personality and life instead of figuring out a way into her pants.

Most importantly, Roose discovered that all of the stereotypes about evangelical students were not true. Sure, many were homophobic or traditionalist, and many sincerely felt bad for non-evangelicals since they had no chance at God’s eternal heaven unless they were “saved,” but Roose also encountered students who struggled with their faith, who dismissed creationism, who swore and watched 300. His exploration of Liberty’s student body is deep and layered and, ultimately, Roose comes to the conclusion that “evangelical” is not synonymous with “egotistical, Bible-thumping zealot who knows all of the answers.”

Despite the importance of this stereotype-shattering, Roose’s book is most interesting to me because of the way it suggests the religious indoctrination that schools like Liberty facilitate. By condemning hundreds of things left of center as morally wrong – and going even further by insisting that transgressing any of the Bible’s rules will send you to Hell – evangelicals are scared away from experiencing anything beyond the familiar. Students are told over and over and over again that the Lord is the way and the only way, and by hammering home this point to young, impressionable minds, people in positions of authority can abuse their power and steer the thoughts of younger generations. Young people are gradually convinced that what they are being taught is correct – gospel, if you will. The indoctrination that occurs at schools like this is dangerous. It freezes a large sect of our population in traditionalism, times when women were required to submit to their husbands, when homosexuality was a disease and when devotedly following every last Bible verse was chosen over living a life of happiness.

I’m not saying that all of the students at evangelical schools – and certainly not even a majority of the students at Liberty…The Unlikely Disciple proved that – have been transformed into thought clones, incapable of making their own decisions. I truly don’t believe that every religious student in our country solves a dilemma in their life by simply looking it up in the Bible and taking that specific course of action. But I do believe that there is an inherent risk to the psychological independence of teenagers when they attend a school that preaches to them lessons based on a single work of literature and punishes them severely for disobeying the Word. Roose demonstrated the first stages of his own indoctrination in his work – by the end of his semester, he was desensitized to homophobia, was halfway convinced that prayer solved a world of troubles and was almost willing to disregard Jerry Falwell’s history of intolerance as the mis-steps of a misunderstood man of God.

The Unlikely Disciple is a triumph in both anthropology and guerilla journalism. Roose had a brilliant idea to take his super liberal, open-minded background from Brown to the other extreme, and it paid dividends. He managed to produce a work that is funny, revealing and at times both hopeful and troubling, all while remaining non-judgmental and unbiased. If you have any interest in intra-America anthropological studies, religious explorations or journalism prowess, read this book.

Friday, August 7, 2009

Summer Lovin'. Had Me a Blast.


What I Learned Over My Summer Vacation: The Season in Entertainment

1) Not All Vampire Stories are Created Equal: If you haven’t heard by now – and if this is the case, you clearly don’t go food shopping, where in the checkout aisles every magazine cover screams “Vampires Make a Comeback!” – blood-suckers have been everywhere this summer, and the trend has been curling the toes of both fanboys and housewives alike. Still, for every fantastic send-up of the supernatural staple, like True Blood, HBO’s sophomore watercooler hit (which, if people overhear said watercooler conversations about shape-shifting pigs, orgies and blood prostitutes, makes you seem batshit crazy), there’s a Twilight. And Twilight, the Stephanie Meyer book series that’s been converted into a visual “film” saga, merits no heralding. For those of you who haven’t read the series, stay away from the poor writing, unlikable characters and lack of momentum. And for those of you who have read the series and enjoyed it…why? There’s only more to come as far as vamps are concerned: The CW’s tentpole new series for the fall is The Vampire Diaries, a screen version of another “popular” book series. Let’s hope True Blood stands the test of the trend and sucks the rest of ‘em dry.

2) Esquire Can Make Literature Sexy Again: For their July issue, the staff of Esquire put a hot nude model, Bar Refaeli, on the cover, but instead of daisy pasties and strategically-placed headlines covering her girly parts, they painted on the first few lines of a new short story by horror god Stephen King. Men go crazy, read the story and get to the very end before realizing that it’s not a transcription of a porn.

3) Becoming a TLC Superstar is a Huge Ego Buster: What will happen to the kids?! Who’s cheating on who?! He’s already dating again?! What the fuck is up with her hair?! These were just a few of the questions that seemed to captivate the country this summer when the titular couple of Jon and Kate Plus Eight absolutely fell apart. Magazines spread the latest updates and “news” as fast as herpes spreads in the Big Brother house, and Average Joe Americans gossiped about the trouble in millionaire-land as if the Gosselin clan were their own neighbors. In the end, there were no winners…except, of course, for TLC, who saw the show attract 9.8 million viewers at the height of the scandal.

4) Depressing Kids’ Movies are Totally All the Rage: Can we be honest for a second? Up was not fun. It was not cute. It was sad and tragic and scary and not okay. (SPOILERS AHEAD) From the “You Can’t Have Kids Because You’re Barren” moment to the old man’s house – filled with all of his wife’s dead but loved possessions – catching on fire, the animated Pixar film was enveloped in sadness. Then, you know, there are kids being shot at with rifles, old men falling off of a high-flying blimp, insinuations that helmets used to belong to snooping pilots long since murdered, and a friendless boy scout with a mom who is next to useless and a dad who makes empty promises…and probably hits him. Maybe it was just because the movie featured humans as characters instead of adorable fish or monsters or cars or rats, but altogether, this film was the definition of “too real.” I wish Disney-Pixar hadn’t falsely advertised it…after witnessing the mood it put me into, it really should have been called Down.

5) Artists Can Release Five Different Versions of the Same Song and Still Enjoy Moderate Success: By now, I think I’ve heard Jason Mraz’s “I’m Yours” a solid 400 times. It’s a great song, don’t get me wrong, but it sort of perplexes me. Last year I enjoyed the song as a fun, acoustic piece showcasing Mraz’s vocals, but soon after, I heard the mainstream radio version and was surprised to hear additional bits of Mraz’s strange, kooky scat syllables. Then there was another version – with alternate scats and nonsense words thrown in – sometime after, and this summer, the ode to courtship is continuing to demonstrate longevity with a Lil’ Wayne remix. Really, Jason Mraz? Weezy? Soon, I suppose we’ll be hearing a Taylor Swift cover and an additional remix featuring Celtic folk backgrounds.

6) Moving to Mexico Can Kill Your Show: Dear Weeds, when did you stop making me laugh? Oh, right…it was when your writers made all of the characters unlikeable and shifted the perfect balance between slapstick and risk-laden sticky situations by sapping all of the fun out and just making the show a full-on tragedy. Nancy gets pregnant and avoids being executed by her random political leader lover! The family moves to Mexico when their house burns down in a town-destroying fire! 14-year-old Shane, recent victim of puberty’s sweet, sweet seduction, loses his virginity in a threesome, sells drugs to his teacher and then murders the teacher’s bird, squeaking “Gimme my money!” Nancy gets ass raped! Andy fucks Nancy’s annoying sister! Andy tries to build a legitimate relationship with Nancy, which is all but ruined when he has to suck her nipples to relieve Nancy of her milk-filled boobies! Breastfeeding…yum. If that’s not comedy, I don’t know what is.

7) The Radio Censors Are Confusing: Only in this country would a radio station bleep out the word “ho” in 3OH!3’s inane “Don’t Trust Me” but allow Lady Gaga’s “Lovegame” to go uncensored. I mean, are you serious? “This beat is sick, I wanna take a ride on your disco stick”? We’re allowed to hear that not-at-all-veiled innuendo, but we can’t hear the abbreviated form of whore? While we’re on the subject, I’m still bitter about the “If You See Amy” debacle from earlier this year, which made Britney’s instant classic absolutely irrelevant.

8) Some Sharks are Highly Trained Acrobats: Rent Megashark Versus Giant Octopus on Netflix. It will be the best decision of your life. Don’t believe me? See here: Greatest Scene Ever. Keep in mind that the rest of the movie – and I know, because I watched the whole thing – is made as a series apocalyptic thriller. No jokes, no sarcasm, no irony.

9) The MPAA Clearly Has Lowered Its Standards: Now, I’m not one for censorship, but I do think that if it’s going to be there, it should be consistent. That’s why I was pretty shocked walking out of the PG-rated Up, which I don’t think was made with kids’ best intentions in mind – it wasn’t one of those kids’ movies that worked on two levels, one for adults and one for kids. It works on one level: scary/depressing. But enough about Up…I was also taken aback by the PG rating on the exceptional Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. Between the horny wizard lust manifested in innuendo-filled dialogue as close to dick jokes as possible and the scary-as-balls, super violent ending with those creepy ass Gollum-on-acid Inferi, I fully expected it to be PG-13. And Bruno? Let’s get real…some of those garbage-laden, unnecessary scenes are essentially NC-17-meriting porn. Like I said, I’m not arguing for tighter MPAA restrictions – I’m just saying that what separates a PG from a PG-13 and an R from an NC-17 needs to be more clearly defined. What made HP6 lighter than the PG-13-rated Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix?

10) Love Always Feels Like a Battlefield: So you better go and getch your armor. Just because.